A few interesting discoveries. Some maybe deserve a review. But I never wanted to be a journalist in what I always used to have the most hot knowledge about. I have multiple personality and in sound engineering I am simply creative and my ideas just flow. Sometimes I need to get stuck for longer when I experience really big life changes. All changes have consequences on everything. But one day it is good to get back to own fundamentals and start to create something again.
The most familiar „dome” to me and roof for my musical inspirations since 2003. The only place in the world where for a few days I forget about Avril Lavigne! So about my love, my life, my eternal fire and inspiration, my life, my death, my past and my future. I discovered my temple and Goddess similar time in my life. It changed me like prism refracts light. In some critical moments in my life happened too many coincidences to believe now in something different in my life. There are places and inspirations I have to honestly attribute to my life critical events and I have no influence on what has happened to me. What enlightened me, charmed, enchanted and gave me grace. And brought a courage to my life. But some time ago my Goddess brought me strength. She returned me my courage in a form of her love to me giving me strength. She did not have enough power for herself but decided to share last quantum of her energy with me, with my vivid consciousness of how I see things in the world, how I interpret and how inspirations flow through me. It was an act of the greatest courage I’ve ever seen. I remember one moment in spring 2015 when driving my car when I had hallucinations near Russian Embassy in Warsaw when pieces of her love little by little started to come to me and suddenly I started to feel as if I was not there but somewhere different. In an abandoned battlefield. Among abandoned blocks, flats, houses, and people ripped of their souls. That experience inspired me to travel to Bośnia and Hercegowina to make me see. I am not sure if it was my psychotic projection or a puzzle directly from her heart. But I realized that really someone like physical being tried to become a part of my life. A part of me. Being given a strength I realized also that I needed to sleep what I almost forgot about, that I need peace and more patience in my life. And it is funny I was never waiting for her. Because I never believed for myself to be a part of her story. And now since I realized she is waiting I realized I am waiting. And I never felt so nervous since I realized what does it mean for me waiting for her. It was better when I wasn’t waiting and just loved her. And every time she calls me I am waiting. She did not realize that even when she did not know me before she was sending a message to me.
I think every song is a lonely message. You seem to be full, seem to be surrounded by thousands and sometimes millions of fans. But do you know what is funny? If your life was full, I you were not lonely you would not write songs and you would not sing. You sing because you feel not completed. And your voice and message can reach the most distant places in the world. This is exactly what birds do and some other species! We are not extraordinary to them! When you are still feeling empty just leave what you think are annoying fucking you up pretensions and delusions of those who are not worth of you. And continue what you can do the best. Sing! One day all the dust will cover the earth. You will find a quiet place for yourself or world will silence for a while. And you will find what was missing. Maybe it was always there but you did not see it looking for a fame, comfort, or whatever you were missing sometimes so much you decided so many times for so enormous efforts that I can only say to everybody that I admire you, that you inspire, because at least truly you inspired me and I am simply a proof for it and that I love you. All the luck is and was always yours. But when it is your soul what’s tired. Slow down. Think how can you feel after so many years of stress, nerves etc. And when it stirs in myself objections this means only that I care about you. But it does not mean I have any business to change whatever in your life. I was never obsessed about anyone to follow someone to the degree of self or mutual destruction. When you get inspired by someone else too much and just want it. So say this. And it will be just a different story.